just ask google

I just put into google: “i have destroyed my life”
The first answer I got back was this:

https://www.quora.com/What-do-you-do-when-you-have-completely-ruined-your-life

What do you do when you have completely ruined your life?

and the answer that hit me the most was this one:

Learn from your mistakes. try to understand why you made them, and if a new fresh start is in order – get all the toxic people in your life,  out of your life. If you’re the toxic part of your life, get your head out and knock off the drama. Look around and see what the okay people in your world do when confronted with the questions you keep getting wrong.  It’s okay to make mistakes – once – but you’re just being a dumb a**  if you keep repeating them.  There is redemption, if you want it. It starts with just doing the right thing. Don’t talk about it, don’t play the victim – just shut up and start doing what a decent, responsible, mature adult would do when you come to the choices. If you’re not 13 years old ( any longer ) you probably don’t have anyone who will rush in and solve your problems when you screw up. So keep this in your mind – when you make mistakes, paying for those mistakes will be your problem. It’s easier to avoid doing destructive things than trying to say you’re sorry a hundred times and taking the painful consequences for the damage you’ve done.
By the way – many, if not most  people end up facing this question at one time or another in their lives. It can be a turning point to a happier and more positive life, if you will let it be. Good luck.