Yesterday in my therapy session, M suggested that the tightness I felt in my throat often was actually not part of my torso core fight/flight stuff but simply an action, as in tensing my limbs ready for flight. Kinda.
So, when I do my mindfulness 5minute sessions if I find it is my throat that is tight, loosen that (easier said than done!) and I will find my gut will tighten up.
She also said it would be a lot harder for me to do as we are getting closer to what is really going on. She also said I would be more likely to get into real releasing emotions, (which is my whole agenda with this).
So, today, tried that and first finding was yes, gut was more tight, but still a bit slippery. However, I did find almost on the 5 minute mark that real tears (grief, not fear or frustration) starting coming, and when I read the prayer I was in tears for most of it. Not massive gut wrenching sobs (hopefully that will come) but different from before.
Second session was pretty hopeless… spent most of the time trying to find some sensation in my gut and my throat kept locking up. Third session felt a bit all over the place – and I feel like I didn’t do anything. I expected that, so see how things go.