Hell On Earth

I just found in facebook a great snippet that was a great wakeup call for me right now… and then I also read something else (but that has gone past to the keeper at present, I can’t resolve it yet… but I trust it has a message for me, coz they always do).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mud1FNxTnAQ

Perfect for this moment. I am so stuck!!! My life is getting worse and worse and worse and I still see no way out. My fear and anger are so strong that I don’t even WANT to change things. I don’t want to pray. I feel that insanity would be a blessed relief (yet I have enough knowledge to know that that is only putting off the inevitable). And I also have enough knowledge to make suicide no option either.

So I am screwed.

Where do I go from here. With every breath I take life just gets worse. And I don’t want to post this because every time I share an emotion it keeps me out of it. (So I will blog it instead?) I need to knock this addiction on the head. As soon as I decided to blog it instead of post it, the energy goes out of it.

I don’t know where to go from here.

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