Today I learnt some huge stuff.
At the talk Yeshua and Mary gave in Albury I took the opportunity to ask about my own emotions around the money issues I have, and I listed some of the fears related to it (Fear of death/survival issues, fear of humiliation and fear of being controlled). I asked if there were any I had missed and Mary mentioned a lack of self responsibility, to which I added that I knew I wanted the world to fix it for me. (Yeshua also mentioned this is an error I have inherited from my parents who lived in Holland during WWII)
Today I was talking about this with my group counsellor and she observed that it sounded like Attachment issues, which I didn’t twig to at first, but then realised what she meant (I think it was Homecoming that I read about this first in)… My needs as an infant were not met, so I was still stuck there, in having others looking after me.
So I have been living out this need for my entire life! And now I emotionally get that, and have started feeling the pain of that lack. This excites me as I feel I can change my life so much from this and it opens up so much to me.
It also highlights beautifully for me the difference between intellectually knowing something and emotionally knowing it – I knew a few months ago when I read it in a book that my infant needs had not been met, but it wasn’t until today when I connected to it emotionally that I saw and felt and understood it. And now I can do something about it, and release the need to have the world fix it for me – I can start taking responsibility for myself!!
Yay me 🙂